GO NAVY . . . . .
Life in the Navy is always more than a Job and usually - Quite The
Adventure ..... thots on the
this from Debbie - author of Oxnard's Dirty Little Secrets . . .
Ah - the Navy - It's an adventure ... the suggestions below are made on behalf of those who think the Navy is a "TOP GUN" existence. You know, those who watched one too many episodes of JAG, and think that Navy life is glamorous. To experience Navy life, try a couple of these - right in the comfort of your own homes.
1. Buy a dumpster, paint it gray and live in it for 6 months straight.
2. Run all of the piping and wires inside your house on the outside of the walls.
3. Pump 10 inches of nasty, crappy water into your basement, then pump it out, clean up, and paint the basement "deck gray."
4. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go the scummiest part of town, find the most run down, trashy bar you can, pay $10 per beer until you're hammered, then walk home in the freezing cold.
5. Perform a weekly disassembly and inspection of your lawn mower.
6. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays turn your water temperature up to 200 degrees, then on Tuesday and Thursday turn it down to 10 degrees. On Saturdays, and Sundays declare to your entire family that they used too much water during the week, so all showering is secured.
7. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling.
8. Have your next door neighbor come over each day at 5am, and blow a whistle so loud that Helen Keller could hear it and shout "Reveille, Reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."
9. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in the back yard at 6am and read it to you.
10. Eat the raunchiest Mexican food you can find for three days straight, then lock the bathroom door for 12 hours, and hang a sign on it that reads "Secured - contact OA DIV at X-3053."
11. Submit a request form to your father-in-law, asking if it's ok for you to leave your house before 3pm.
12. Invite 200 of your not-so-closest friends to come over, then board up all the windows and doors to your house for 6 months. After the 6 months is up, take down the boards, and since you're on duty, wave at your friends and family trough the front window of your home...you can't leave until the next day.
13. Shower with above-mentioned friends.
14. Make your family qualify to operate all the appliances in your home (i.e. Dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc)
15. Walk around your car for 4 hours checking the tire pressure every 15 minutes.
16. Sit in your car and let it run for 4 hours before going anywhere. This is to ensure your engine is properly "lit off".
17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house, and sweep your driveway 3 times a day, whether they need it or not.
18. Repaint your entire house once a month.
19. Cook all of your food blindfolded, groping for any spice and seasoning you can get your hands on.
20. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, randomly losing every 5th item.
21. Spend $20,000 on a satellite system for your TV, but only watch CNN and the Weather Channel.
22. Have your 5-year-old cousin give you a haircut with goat shears.
23. Sew back pockets to the front of your pants.
24. Spend 2 weeks in the red-light districts of Europe, and call it "world travel."
25. Attempt to spend 5 years working at McDonald, and NOT get promoted.
26. Needle gun the aluminum siding on your house after your neighbors have gone to bed.
From a Navy friend of mine. Looks like it was better than MRE's.--- Maybe those two USAF NCO's in Afganistan should see this.
Not sure how true this is, but it's a good story.
A BIT OF NAVY HISTORY FOR YOU !
The USS Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last 6 months of sustained operations. She carried no evaporators. However, let it be noted that:
On July 1798, the USS Constitution set sail from Boston. She left with 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum. Her mission: To destroy and harass English shipping.
Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then she headed for the Azores, arriving on 12 November.
She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.
On 18 November she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships salvaging only the rum.
By 26 January her powder and shot was exhausted. Unarmed, she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde. Her landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.
The USS Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799 with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whiskey and 48,600 gallons of stagnant water.
THOSE WERE THE GOOD OLE DAYS! GO NAVY!
Rum and Naval History:
In the good old days a Pint of Rum was part of the daily ration to the crew.
Several years back "Pusers Rum" sold their Rum in a Lord Nelson Decanter.
A real beauty, with the seals of the fleet and the crown and so forth.
History will tell you that Lord, Admiral Nelson did not fare well when at
sea. He suffered from sea sickness from the moment the ship set sail
until in reached it's destination. His final words, when mortally wounded in
battle were, "Do not bury me at sea". The Story goes he was placed in a
barrel of Pusers Rum upon his death and pickled until the ship made land
fall and he was given a hero's burial in Merry old England.
In Murrels Inlet, South Carolina, There is a small Island called Drunken
Jack's Island. It was a refuge for Pirates in the old days.There are many
canals and many tall pine trees all around the small islands in the inlet.
The pirates would enter the harbor, travel a mile or so into the canals
and tie branches of the pine trees to their masts thus giving the appearance
to the British fleet, that there were only trees and no ships. The crews
would go ashore for rations and to bury their booty on one of the small
On one occasion a British Ship of the line investigated the inlet.
A lookout spotted it heading for the mouth of the inlet and the pirate
ships made a hasty retreat. So hasty in fact that one of the ships left one
of it's crew on the island. Several months later a scouting party was sent
in to pick up the stranded sailor. When they reached the Island they found
only 5 empty rum kegs and the skeletal remains of old Jack with a half
drunk keg of Rum at his side. With no other rations, Jack simply drank
himself to death.
When the USS Nimitz was on it's first cruise which lasted just over 6
months, without a port call and very few sightings of land. Congress
enacted a special bill which allowed the crew a one shot deal of two
beers per man as a morale booster. A far cry from the Good Old Days.
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